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Three 9s

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Universal questions.

How did people fill their time before the Internet?

Does anyone remember what it was like to use a phone without having to reboot it?

When I was younger (and by younger I mean right after I graduated from college) I remember playing working with a Vic 20, and then an Atari 800, and then an Amiga 1000 and then an Amiga 2000 before I finally learned enough about programming to get a job. As it turns out my fear of not finding work in the computer science field 20 years ago was somewhat overblown. Lack of qualified people in a field can do that (think early 80’s).

I don’t remember rebooting my phone, but back then the princess phone was still pretty recent. I don’t miss it, but I do remember how cool touch tone phones were.

Deep Space 9

Will we be rebooting our televisions any time soon?

It is easy, in hindsight, to look back and realize what a geek I was. If only I’d known back then; I might have invested better.

I have a new definition of geek: someone who is so obsessed with bending technology to their will they instead bend space time using just the power of their mind. This allows them to jump forward in time minutes or, more often, hours in the blink of an eye. Unfortunately, going back in time does not currently appear possible though there are rumors that Bill Gates has in fact accomplished this feat; this would explain how Microsoft has changed direction so many times and still succeeded (of course, being friends with Anthony Stark doesn’t hurt).

District 9

You take chicken, for example: maybe [the machines] couldn’t figure out what to make chicken taste like, which is why chicken tastes like everything.
Mouse from the Matrix

Where the religious, or those aspiring to be religious, or maybe those who think they are religious, or maybe those who would like to be religious, or perhaps those trying to understand why anyone is religious, find solace in watching movies like The Ten Commandments or The Passion of the Christ, geeks (or at least I) find solace watching movies like 12 Monkeys or District 9.

The thing about growing up as a geek is that it didn’t start until after I graduated from college. I have to admit, with my head bowed low, that I was a liberal arts major. I always enjoyed math and science, but the voices in my head always said that those were hard subjects and that I wouldn’t do well with them. Oddly enough my SAT scores disagreed, but who listens to SAT scores when you have voices? I graduated with a B.A. in Communications, worked in television for about 3 years and left. I just didn’t get the satisfaction I was looking for as a union engineer loading up video tape and working the Chyron.

After twenty years in the software field I now know what my mind craved all those years: spending life in a cube writing software that would never make it into production.

Perhaps Christopher Johnson will return in three years and transform us all back into humans. Or not.

I am afraid to look in the box…

Categories: Incoherent
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